Desk Full Of Dildos, Life Full Of Awesome

I write about things that boys stick their naughty bits in, girls stick their naughty bits onto, and everyone else sticks wherever they please.

I love gardening, birdwatching, singing, CSI, reading anything that stands still long enough (including people), doing what's least expected, doing what's most desired, and never being too old to bust out a tub of sidewalk chalk.
Fri Jul 10
“ TONIGHT! WE RIDE! Danger! Adventure! Sandwiches! Neil Gaiman, via Twitter
Wed Jun 17
My carrots were wilting and the garden started crying this morning when joe watered it. Enter me, with some tenative poking around, and the discovery of an extrordinarily well hidden and equally improbable nest of teeny tiny baby bunnies. That’s a little pink ear in the picture, on what is likely a very cross bunny-let, having been rudely awakened from her nap by our errant garden-watering. There goes the proverbial (garden) neighborhood!

My carrots were wilting and the garden started crying this morning when joe watered it. Enter me, with some tenative poking around, and the discovery of an extrordinarily well hidden and equally improbable nest of teeny tiny baby bunnies.

That’s a little pink ear in the picture, on what is likely a very cross bunny-let, having been rudely awakened from her nap by our errant garden-watering. There goes the proverbial (garden) neighborhood!

Wed May 20
Another lost lil one that spastically fluttered into my life. This is a baby sparrow, and I believe it’s a female. The exaggerated yellow bits on either side of the beak are used to better catch bugs dropped by the momma. They grow into it as the baby grows older - you can tell it’s tiny when it still has “clown mouth” like this.

Another lost lil one that spastically fluttered into my life. This is a baby sparrow, and I believe it’s a female. The exaggerated yellow bits on either side of the beak are used to better catch bugs dropped by the momma. They grow into it as the baby grows older - you can tell it’s tiny when it still has “clown mouth” like this.

Fri May 15
A graph that illustrates my eternal struggle in restaurants.

A graph that illustrates my eternal struggle in restaurants.

Thu May 14
“ J’ai deux coeurs. L’un pour le loup de la ville, et l’un pour le loup de la forêt. “I have two hearts: One for the wolf of the village, and one for the wolf of the forest.”
Victory Garden FTW! The garden this year - Top left, clockwise: Sage Majoram Buttercrunch Lettuce Celebrity Tomatoes Cumin Patchouli Rosemary Lemonbalm Lemon Verbena Pineapple Sage Lemongrass Lemon Verbena (again) Lemon Balm (again) All planted in a two-tier 2-by-4 box garden my fiance made for the front of our apartment. On the other side we have a few pots with: stevia peppermint spearmint catnip strawberry plants raspberry vine climbing peas.

Victory Garden FTW!

The garden this year - Top left, clockwise:

  • Sage
  • Majoram
  • Buttercrunch Lettuce
  • Celebrity Tomatoes
  • Cumin
  • Patchouli
  • Rosemary
  • Lemonbalm
  • Lemon Verbena
  • Pineapple Sage
  • Lemongrass
  • Lemon Verbena (again)
  • Lemon Balm (again)

All planted in a two-tier 2-by-4 box garden my fiance made for the front of our apartment.

On the other side we have a few pots with:

  • stevia
  • peppermint
  • spearmint
  • catnip
  • strawberry plants
  • raspberry vine
  • climbing peas.

Otter Penis

  • Me: Don't mess with me. I'll totally put a pagany hex on your penis and turn it into an otter.
  • Fiance: AWESOME. (Proceeds to make lewd gestures and sounds to imitate otterpenis sex)
Someone needs to use this for bondage. Like, immediately.
Rescued Goslings, procured by way of a chasing away killer (literally) swans, climbing across a rocky shoreline, and repurposing a New Hope, PA tourist ferry and a rubber net.

Rescued Goslings, procured by way of a chasing away killer (literally) swans, climbing across a rocky shoreline, and repurposing a New Hope, PA tourist ferry and a rubber net.

Fri May 8
“ He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. - Douglas Adams